Leave Fathers day to Men not single Mothers

Women on social media recently identified single mothers as ripe candidates for Father’s Day. I disagreed with them. Father’s Day is meant to honour the men who acknowledge their children, whether in or out of wedlock, and take their roles as dads seriously. As they say, anyone can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a dad. The dictionary definition of a father is a male who has a child, a male parent or father-in-law; an adopted father or stepfather. On a lighter note, a ‘sponsor’ is also referred to as ‘daddy.’

So, according to this definition, no woman can purport to be a father. Unfortunately, that definition also includes irresponsible dads. I understand the pain of most single mothers, who were knocked up at a tender age by men were not ready to be fathers, and thus bolted.

Women who find themselves in this situation pick up the pieces, dust themselves and raise the children on their own, most times without help. But single motherhood is also as a result of divorce, rape cases, or women walking out of abusive relationships. In some instances, it’s because a woman can’t stand the thought of sharing a husband, when the man decides to marry a second wife. So, she walks out with the kids since most African communities, and even the courts nowadays, are likely to favour a woman to be with kids.

Some are confined to single motherhood following the death of their husbands, while some women enter into agreements with men to ‘page’ them, when it dawns on them that their biological clocks are almost timing out.

Though some of us still think our fathers were the best and had great family control and values, I have met some young Y-generation dads who are also responsible. But being responsible does not mean splashing pictures of your kids all over social media. Instead of single Kenyan mothers trying to claim Father’s Day, they should instead accept that life’s all about choices, decisions and consequences. That applies as well when choosing the man who will be your baby daddy.

We know mistakes happen when one is young and their naivety is taken advantage of by sly men pretending or thinking to be in love. Still, women should take precautions. When you are young after reading those funny romantic books that you like or watching a lot of Spanish soaps, you go for men you think will give you beautiful kids. Then you later call men ‘dogs’ when you turn into a hating feminist who thinks all men are irresponsible.

Here’s my advice to young girls, those handsome magazine boys that you like are for taking selfies and posting on your Facebook or Instagram. When you decide to go for a man whom you want to be the father of your kids, please be smart about it.

I really admire single mothers as I know it’s not easy raising kids alone. But kindly, don’t go around painting all men with the same brush of condemnation just because your baby daddy was a loser. And trying to claim Father’s Day won’t help matters. We also have single men raising their kids, but you wouldn’t see them fighting for recognition on Mother’s Day.

source the starandard